yesterdaay night was like whaat the fcuuk. fought with sis over the phone. i was on the phone first when she came home. after she got her things done, she wanted to use the phone just for a while. her " a while " is not short, its hours. so i refuse to give her the phone to make a phone call to her boify. she started scolding me and use vulgarities. i just can't keep quiet right and let her insult me right? so i get baack at her! even mum was fed up with us fighting over the phone. then she went to eat, thaat will shut her mouth up! she keeps saying naasty things about my friends and said thaat i got involve in the wrong company. when i heard thaat, wtf! i turned at her and shout (translated in english)" whaat hell is wrong with you?! its my problem who i wanna befriend with! just shut the hell up!" mum was like siding her. i was like so fcuuked up with everyone in the house. after she finished eating, she still ask me for the phone. i still refuse. then she got fcuuk up, she went inside the room and locked the door. oh man! thaat part i was going "i have to sleep outside man!". then mum went to her room to sleep. i was left alone in the living room in the dark. so i just hack care laa. i was on the phone with twinny (: after all went to their room, its was so peaceful. had a good conversation with twinny. awhile later, sis came out of the room and still asking for the phone. she was like so stupid. tuu jantan naak bobaal ngaan diek, suroh laa diek call. taakmo jadik bodoh gy call diek. so benggap siaa! so stupid! she snatch the phone from me, i tried pulling it baack then somehow, i threw fcuuking phone at her. then she went inside the room with the phone. i too then went in. get on the bed. i kept saying vulgarities at her. then i said her "sundal and boohsiaa". was really mad at thaat time. whaat do you expects me to do? words just keep coming out. when i saays her "bohsiaa". she was going like gonna slap me in words. i said baack at her, try it if you dare. then she turned away and talked to her boify. when i recall baack thaat i saaid those words to her. i feel so bad. but neyh, wth. she started it first. i'm not apologizing. and i'm not talking to her. i just don't know whaat is wrong with everyone in the house. even adek is starting to talk to me very very rudely! who the fcuuk teach him thaat! i'm still mad about the phone thingy laast night. mum knew thaat everynight sis alwaays use the phone to call her boify. EVERYNIGHT! whaats wrong if i just use it for an hour or two? not as if i use it until late 2/3am EVERYDAAY! she even said to me "you use the phone for hours, you pay it". wtf! she never said thaat to sis. everyone in the house is treating me so unfairly. it makes me feels so sad ): when i'm trying to be nice, they simply don't appreciate it. but when things staarts to turn me on, they hate it even more. how am i suppose to be towards them? treat them nicely or cruely?! they're just making me more rebellious. most of the times their comments really pissed me off!   //

gonna miss twinny ): she's going to bali soon. after two weeks then able to meet her again when she came baack. have a safe trip okaay twinny? tquires and have fun. come baack in one piece okaay? (: lovee you many`may twinny ^_^   //

i don't really care you wanna befriend me or not. all i know is thaat i still have the others who are staying by my side and are still willing to be my friend. whaat i feel is thaat you're making everyone turn against each other. ever since we met you, the bonds with my friends is not getting tighter. in faact, our friendships seems to fade away. and to make sure thaat doesn't happen, i'm baacking away from you. even my previous relationship, i just feel thaat you're the one controlling it. you see, when you're not happy about him over a small thing, you ask me to make a break up with him. you even say thaat if he broke up with me, he'll get it from you. but whaat? nothing happen right after we broke up? in faact, you and him became closer right? when i ask the others, everybody was like saying "why is she siding him and not you most of the times?". thaat moment i just went speechless. and when you found out thaat he was so called "joke cheating" on me, you put your hands on him. while i just sat there trying to get my mind right. i went to the toilet to cool myself down. but you interfere and asked me to taalk to him when i'm not ready to hear his explanations. you even call me stupid for doesn't know how to get everything right when in r/s. this is whaat happen when you're in an open r/s. its disaster! when a couple get into a fight, they wouldn't waant anybody to interfere. and just settle evrything on their own. you can try asking the others how they feel about you? bet you they will give you the answers you waant to hear thaat make you happy but actually thaat's not the real answers. they are just afraid to tell you frankly. i'm doing this maturely. not using any vulgarities to show my unhappiness nor i put your name. every word thaat sounds like "bitch", thaats your name (: did i just scold you thaat? nope. thaats whaat you said and i'm just telling you thaat, thaats your name not mine.